October 6, 1995
The day that changed my life... I'm feeling a little sad and a little angry. What's the line that Joni Mitchell sings, "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone".
It was funny because when we were in Italy, Erika sent Sue and email and she said, "I never realized how many times a day I call my mom." Yah, Er. Me, too!
I can't call my mom OR email her... she's just someplace where she can't get those physical messages. Maybe she hears my heart calling out to her. Maybe she hears my prayers. Maybe she feels my tears. I don't know. I just miss her a lot.
I'm pissed because she has three granddaughters she hasn't even seen... Three granddaughters who've never met her... never felt her warmth. Never shared her laugh...
Yeah, Er. I just never realized either.